Scare High
by The Talking Absol
Summary: One is the Prom Queen. The other is a nerd. You know this story; or do you? -Won second place in Scarecrow Contests first contest!-


This is obviously AU; a kind of cross-over of the novel/movie "Hair High" and Scarecrow's past. This is for the Sherry Squires contest over at the account "Scarecrow Contests," and nothing else. I wouldn't write this crack if I were on crack. I DUNNO WHY BUT TODAY SEEMS LIKE IT'S GUNNA BE A GREAT_ DAAAAAAAY..._ /SNL reference

This fanfic brought to you by the fact the main character's name in "Hair High" is "Cherri." and the letter 12.

And be warned- this is the LONGEST one-shot in the existence of Fanfiction, I think. And probably the longest one I'll ever write. You might wanna go the bathroom now, get that snack and drink, 'cause this one's a doosy. D8

17,000+ words; 34 pages. Good luck, sweeties.

**Scare High**

_By: The Talking Absol_

It wasn't common for kids to come in this late to Cal's Diner in Arlen, Georgia, especially on Prom night. So Cal was surprised when a girl, no more than seventeen, came storming in from the outside, arms and hands tense at her sides. A boy, probably not older but certainly taller, came in after her.

"C'mon Darla! Ya can't just abandon me on _Prom _night!" he pleaded as she took her seat rather hastily at the counter.

"Oh, whatever." she snapped, rolling her eyes behind large oval-shaped glasses. "Can I have a chocolate shake, uh, mister?" she asked, now directing her attention to Cal.

"Sure thing." he said, getting a glass and filling it from the tap with the chocolaty goodness. The boy sat down next to her, but she turned away from him.

"Please! What're we doin' _here_? We should be gettin' in with the crowd, dancin' the night away!" he said, waving his hands around.

Cal set the glass in front of Darla, and she started to slurp it up as her date groaned and placed his head in his hands. Two flies began to buzz around each other above them.

One of them landed and began to clean itself. Any entomologist would have recognized this species as the common housefly, and a very nice-looking female one at that. The other followed her down; a male no bigger than she. He buzzed at her, and she promptly ignored him. He buzzed, but this time she jumped around, possibly staring in curiosity. He took a step forward, and spewed out a rather lovely pile of what was once ice cream, now turned a brownish color from his stomach juices. It was a very loving gesture from a fly she'd just met. She hopped up, and they shared the treat between them.

The boy, whose name (for future reference) was Merv, was tapping his fingers, one by one, on the counter by the time Darla was nearly finished with her milkshake. It was also at this point that Darla noticed the two flies from earlier humping furiously not too far from Merv's hand, and she let out a yelp, pointing to the offense.

"Ewwwww! Those two flies are having SEX!" she screamed.

Merv's reaction was faster than the flies (who, granted, were a bit busy), and he squished them flat under his palm.

Cal's reaction was just as fast, but seconds too late. "You...you killed my flies!" he exclaimed, and picked up their frail, limp bodies into his own palms, mumbling, "Dead lovers just like...Sherry and Jon..."

Merv and Darla looked at each other, and Merv smirked and waved his finger around in circles beside his head. Darla rolled her eyes.

"Who were they?" she asked, interest now piqued.

"C'mon, let's get out of here." Merv snapped, turning to leave. Cal's fingers wrapped around his necktie, however, and slammed him back down into his seat.

"No, you need to hear this story. It's a tale of the Prom, love and..." Cal shed a single tear; reflected in it was a golden, ringing bell, "Sherry and Jon..."

"Oh boy, flashback time." Merv said snarkily.

**...::Ten Years Ago::...**

Everyone remembers the first day of Freshman year, bad or good. Sophomore and Junior and probably Senior typically fly on by, never even having a second thought. For the students of Richmond High School, however, everyone was _supposed_ to remember the first day of junior year, for that was the day juniors Sherry and Bo returned from summer vacation, and every junior, along with anyone who hoped to have any recognition at all in the school, was going to be there to greet them.

The rev of the motorcycles that always led and followed Bo's car were what caught everyone's attention that morning, just as the baby-blue, hard top Thunderbird began to make its way up the street. Everyone was patient, watching as first Bo's friend Dick came to an easy halt, followed slowly but surely by Bo's car, and finally by his other friend, David. Whispers ran through the crowd, and all eyes turned to the car as David and Dick got off their motors, heading towards it to open the doors for Sherry and Bo. Bo walked around to the passenger side, where Sherry was exiting, and joined her side, where they were immediately joined around the elbows. A cheer went up from the large crowd, followed by Sherry's best friend, Darleen, flouncing up and handing her a bouquet of bright, beautiful flowers.

"Hi Sherry, hi Bo!" she cheered.

"Hi Sherry!" the crowd chorused, "Hi Bo!"

Sherry and Bo walked up the front steps of the school, where they turned to face and address the crowd.

"Thanks for the great welcome," Bo said as the crowd fell silent to listen, "Sherry and I are happy..."

He trailed off when a low "put put put" of an engine began to make its way up the street.

He tried again, "We are happy...uh..." to no avail. The sound got louder and clearer.

"Put put put pop pop puttyput pop put put..." All eyes turned to the source, which was closing in on the school.

A kid on a worn, puke green scooter was approaching, from which the noise was emitting. He waved to the crowd as he neared, as if thinking they were there to greet him.

When they saw his thick, round glasses, their first thoughts were '_Nerd!_'

When they saw how close he was getting to Bo's car, though, as if he didn't see the behemoth, everyone began to scream, gasp, point, or just outright faint.

The kid turned, saw what was coming, and slammed on his brakes. He was going at the slow speed, and he used his feet along with cutting the gas to try to stop. The world didn't seem to want to work with him, however, as the edge of his scooter just barely came up to the bumper of Bo's car.

There was a faint "tink" noise, and as his scooter backed off, a piece of metal, no bigger than a pinky toe's nail, chipped and fell to the ground below.

Bo stared for a few seconds, watching it all. Upon realization of what had just transpired, his face went from tan to chili-pepper red, and his eyes bulged out of his face. His teeth straightened into two rows of pearly white, strong chompers, while his entire face gave off a plume of steam. With a long, determined stride, he stomped up to the new kid, where he leaned down and picked up the broken piece to hold it in the kid's face.

He observed it for a second, and with a pathetic smile, the kid took it from Bo's hand to try to stick it back onto the bumper. It didn't want to go back, and promptly fell back onto the ground. Bo watched with some expression between amusement and pure rage.

"Lemmie strip his gears, Bo!" Dick snapped, stepping towards them.

"Nah, let me deal with this, Dick." Bo said, in a calm he didn't feel.

He tousled the new kid's brown hair, and the kid flinched as Bo's hand steadily wrapped its way around his head.

"My, what _cute_ hair." Bo stated, smirking. He then took a firm grip on his head and threw him to the ground, watching with satisfaction as his face slammed against the pavement.

He then turned and walked over to the drivers side of his own car, and getting in, turned the key so hard flames billowed out from the muffler, engulfing the scooter behind it and reducing it to ash.

**...::Biology Class::...**

The first day of this class was always everyone's favorite. It was the one day they got to do something truly hands-on; something everyone remembered.

Frogs. Not dissecting; not yet, but rather a discussion on basic biology and such.

Mr. Plympton had a dead frog, belly up, out in front of him on his desk, while all the other students watched cautiously from behind their own seats. In both hands he held electrified mini rods, hooked up to a small battery, which was linked to a box that told the voltage.

"I told you Biology could be fun, watch this..." Mr. Plympton reassured the class, a cigarette between his lips.

He put the two rods down to the frog's skin, and immediately it was lit up with electricity, the voltage meter going into the red zone.

"Oooowoweeee!" he cried, laughing.

Retracting the rods, he looked up to the class, holding them up.

"Who else wants to try it? Don't worry," he smirked, "The frog's dead."

Everyone immediately hid behind their own desks, crying out, "No! No!"

Mr. Plymtpon turned to Dick, "Here, Dick."

"Gee, thanks Mr. Plympton!" he said, buck teeth and nasally voice making the sentence sound funnier than it should have been.

He got up and raced to the desk, replacing Mr. Plympton behind it to grab the rods. He carefully observed the specimen.

"Are these the frog's sex organs, Mr. Plympton?" he asked, grinning widely.

He jabbed the rods into the frog's Happy Place, and the frog lit up with electricity once more. Dick's face also lit up, rather in amazement than electricity like the poor frog, whose eyes had suddenly reopened and heart had started once more. Its body thrust itself off the plate on the desk, bounced off the skeleton in the corner, and made its way towards the door in the back of the room. Just as the door opened to reveal the new kid, glassed once more across his face, the frog shoveled itself, propelled by the dying electricity, into his mouth.

"Can I help you?" were the first words out of Mr. Plympton's mouth.

The kid dug the frog out, whence it began to struggle and make weak croaking noises as he held it up by its back leg, trying to forget the fact it had just been in his mouth.

"I'm Jonathan, the new kid in class." he stated, giving the frog a funny look.

Mr. Plympton pointed to a desk next to the window towards the back, "Sit there, next to Sherry, and please get rid of the frog."

Jonathan obeyed, chucking the frog out the window, where it went on to have many, many tadpoles in its life.

The class got up to watch the frog hop away, but Mr. Plympton called them back to their seats, Dick practically flying back to his.

"The frog's reaction," he asked, "What did we learn?"

There was a sullen silence over the class.

"Someone?" Mr. Plympton held back a sigh as Dick giggled madly, and shot his hand into the air, "Yes, Dick?"

"He was a horny toad!" Almost the entire class burst into laughter.

"Okay, class," Mr. Plympton once again regained control, "What do we call it when an organism is dead yet comes back to life?"

He looked the class over, and pointed to Sherry.

Sherry's mind did not need to know this. In fact, the only things she needed to know, or simply the things that fit into her mind, were Bo, Cheerleading, doing makeup, doing her hair, and being crowned the Prom Queen. She wasn't stupid; quite the contrary, but she simply didn't care about the other things outside of those.

She turned to Darleen, who shook her head. She didn't know.

She poked the kid's shoulder in front of her. He turned, shaking his head.

She turned to Jonathan, who glanced at her like she were crazy.

"I'm waiting, Miss Sherry." Mr. Plympton had turned to his chalkboard, waiting to write the answer down once she said it.

She gave Jonathan a pleading look. He jumped slightly when she did this, as if not expecting that, and started scribbling something on a piece of paper in front of him. He was done quickly, and he folded it up, handing it to Sherry.

Without even bothering to look at it, she unfolded it and read it aloud.

"Study!" she said happily.

"Yes, Sherry, we should all study, most especially you." Mr. Plympton turned to grin sympathetically at her.

Everyone burst into laughter again, although it was a cautious type. Sure enough, Sherry's head whipped around, glaring daggers at Jonathan, who smirked at her.

A unanimous gasp went up through the class.

"The new kid was rude to Sherry!" whispers said, "He insulted Sherry!"

The information spread faster than butter on warmed toast, and it grew when the bell rang and they were let out into the hallways. Everyone stared after Jonathan as he made his way to his next class, whispering the same thing. Slowly, however, the whispers grew darker.

"Rude kid!"

Even the principal came across the intercom to announce it, "This is the principal- the new kid was rude to Sherry! Rude kid!" It was big news.

Jonathan seemed to be wary of it, but he tried to ignore it, even as he opened his locker and a doll of him hanging from a noose fell out, a note attached reading "Rude Kid Dies." He glanced in either direction, but everyone had left. Save for, of course, the voices of Bo, Dick and David coming up from somewhere in the abandoned halls. He turned to run, but everywhere he went, their shadows were closing in. He went for the stairs, but there they were, waiting for him. He yelped, and ran around back into the hall, panic filling him. He was cornered, he realized; more of Bo's friends had joined the crusade and were now tracking him down in the hall.

Meanwhile, in the girl's bathroom, Sherry and her friends were discussing the usual girly things, alongside doing their hair and makeup in preparation for the next class.

"You girls ready for the quiz tomorrow?" Lacy asked.

"Yeah, I'm wearing my orange skirt with the white sweater." Darleen stated, smiling and adjusting her mascara.

Jonathan realized he had no choice. Mucking up all of his courage, and hoping that no one was in this restroom, he ran into it.

It took a second for everyone to register what was going on, but as soon as the girls realized it, all hell broke loose.

"IT'S A MALE!" they screamed, flinging their accessories at him and spraying him with hairspray.

Dick ran up to the door, banging on it loudly.

"Okay ladies, it's Dick, send the kid out..." he said, and with a snort of laughter, continued, "Or I'm comin' in there! Hehe..."

Darleen retrieved her lighter from her purse just as Dick stepped into the doorway, her can of hairspray at the ready.

"No, Darleen, it's me, Dick-" he started, Jonathan already running for the door again.

"I know!" she hissed, lighting her hairspray to inflame both Dick and Jonathan as they ran out, "And take that stiff with you!"

Bo grabbed Jonathan around the shoulders before he could escape, Dick recovering quickly and following suit on the opposite side.

"So, rude kid, what's your name?" Bo asked, smiling politely.

"Jonathan." Jonathan said in a very small voice.

"We'll call you..." Bo looked him over; the unkempt clothing, the tall, lanky frame... "Scarecrow!"

Everyone burst into laughter again, even as Sherry walked out and took her place at Bo's side.

"I think you should show more respect for my Sherry," he said, and then the light went on in his head and he pressed a finger to Jonathan's forehead, "I know! You'll be Sherry's slave! You like that, Sherry?" He turned to ask her.

Sherry turned, a confused look on her face, "Remember what happened to my last slave?" she whispered.

"Shh," Bo pressed a finger to his lips, "That was an accident."

He turned back to Jonathan, who was trying to wiggle out from under his arm hold.

"But don't think about falling in love with Sherry," he affirmed, but once again his eyes lit up with evil glee, and he continued, "Actually, I _hope_ you fall in love with her. I pray you fall in love with her. You wanna know why?"

He adjusted his grip to wrap his fingers around Jonathan's hand, Dick quickly following his movements and wrapping his around too.

"Because, if I even see a _hint_ of affection, know what I'm gunna do?" His eyes took on a maniacal gleam.

"Wh-what?" Jonathan stuttered.

"Yeah, what?" Dick asked, looking up eagerly.

Bo took a pen out from his binder, and drew on one of the thumbs sticking up from the hand hold, making a little face that looked suspiciously like Jonathan.

"This is you, Scarecrow," he started, "And this is what I'm gunna do to you!"

He began to shake the finger back and forth violently, causing Jonathan to yelp in pain.

"And this..." He bit down, hard, on the nail, once again resulting in a shriek.

"This!" he took the cigarette out of David's mouth and rubbed it into the finger, causing it to sizzle and Jonathan to bite his, lip, trying very hard not to cry out again.

"And this!" He took his switchblade out from his pocket, and stabbed straight into the nail.

"Yeeeooow!" Jonathan shrieked, covering his eyes with his other hand.

"But the most fun," Bo hissed, putting the knife between the finger and the nail, "Will be taking your head off!" With that said, he ripped the nail off, causing blood to spurt out from the broken skin and nerves.

Jonathan put both hands up to his head, crying out, "Ohh, the pain!"

Bo looked back, and realized the thumb he'd just taken the nail off of was still between him and Dick.

"Hehe! This is fun!" Dick cried, until a sharp, flaring pain shot up from his thumb, which, in all the mass of hands, had been the unfortunate receiver of Bo's punishment. Dick screamed, and released himself, turning to flee to the nurse's office, crying the whole way.

"See that, pipsqueak?" Bo pointed after Dick, "Fall in love with Sherry, and that could be you!"

**...::Later::...**

"Sherry, I'm just a new kid in school," Jonathan pleaded to deaf ears as she retrieved her stack of books from her locker, "I don't know the rules!"

Sherry was silent, piling the books into his open arms, her face and lips pursed in a defiant expression.

"Why can't we just be friends, ah!" he managed to catch one of her wild tosses, "I'll pretend to be your slave for a few days, and then we'll forget this whole mess ever happened!"

He smiled at her, despite the fact she ignored him even as she closed her locker.

"Okay, Sherry?"

She stuffed a can of hairspray into his mouth, causing him to become silent, and knocked him down, causing the books to go flying every which way.

"That's MISS Sherry, to you, slave!" she spat, and walked off.

_The days pass. Jonathan is forced, out of fear for Bo's wrath, to carry her books around, and home. He helps her put her coat on when it's cold, he holds her handheld mirror up while she's doing her makeup and hair, he has to get her rainbow sprinkles when she orders ice cream, he helps her dry her nails, and he is her personal human plank to avoid puddles after it has rained._

_This, however, does not mean he helps her with everything..._

Mr. Plympton wrote the dreaded word on the chalkboard, amidst groans and gasps of surprise or disapproval.

TEST

Sherry pointed to her desk, where Jonathan put her large stack of books down next to her while the teacher handed out the tests.

Sherry looked at it for a full second before turning to Jonathan, a confused look on her face.

With his hands (not in sign language, mind you), he spelled out "STUDY."

She smirked, and pointed towards the door, where the daunting silhouette of Bo filled the glass.

Jonathan took one look at that, turned around, and gave Sherry the raspberry.

She stuck her tongue out at him, flexing her hands on either side of her head in a mocking gesture.

Putting his index and pinky finger in the corners of his mouth, he stretched it out and made another face at her.

She quickly followed up by stretching her eyelids around with one hand, the other pulling the corners of her mouth down.

A student turned around to see the apparent contest, and started to chuckle, quickly making his own face at both of them. Several other students saw him doing it, and they began to follow suit too. Quickly, everyone in the class was making their best faces at each other, turning the classroom into a hall of freaks.

Mr. Plympton turned around, fully expecting the class to be quietly working on their test, but instead found himself looking at a classroom full of people making the strangest faces at each other. He was so startled, he started to cough and wheeze, cigarette smoke pouring out of him. The entire class stopped, looking on in awe. He began to cough so hard and violently, that something red and pink began to make its way out of his mouth.

"Mr. Plympton?" some of the students asked cautiously.

With one, hard, final cough, a giant pile of organs thrust its way out of his mouth and onto his desk, still pulsing and soaked in bodily goo, and still covered in cigarette smoke.

Everyone screamed, panicking and squirming in their seats. Jonathan took charge, strangely, and ran forward, trying very hard not to panic himself.

"Alright, everyone," he called, "If we work together, I think we can put this back!"

He retrieved the fire extinguisher, and quenched the flames emitting from the pile of guts.

"Muffa muffa muff!" Mr. Plympton wheezed, pointing to his mouth.

"Hurry, I think he's having trouble breathing!" Jonathan said, grabbing what he looked like the small intestine and stuffing it back down the teacher's mouth first.

With the effort and knowledge of others, he worked to get everything back in and in order. After a few minutes, it seemed like he was going to be okay.

"Thank you, class!" Mr. Plympton finally cried out, and the class erupted in cheers, "You're all excused from the exam today!"

More enthusiastic cheers came up, and Mr. Plymtpon turned to Jonathan.

"Thanks to your knowledge of biology, Jon, I'm alive!" he stated, patting him on the back, "But that's no excuse to be rude to Sherry."

Jonathan sighed.

As he left the class with Sherry, books in tow, the principal's voice came over the intercom.

"Attention, attention, this is your principal. Today's lunch will be sloppy joes with creamed corn..."

**...::After School::...**

Like usual, Jonathan and Sherry walked to her house, her large stack of books in his arms, until they reached her door and he started to hand them off to her.

Just as she reached under to take them from him, a spark flew between their fingers, and Sherry yelped, retracting her hands and putting the hurt finger in her mouth.

"Hey, you just ruined my nail!" she observed, taking it out and glaring.

Jonathan growled, dropping the stack of books at her feet, and Sherry jumped back, startled.

"Hey, Scarecrow, you dropped my books!"

"What do you care? You never read them."

"Maybe, but I look smarter having them around."

"What a sad life!" Jonathan threw his hands up, walking off, "I feel sorry for you."

"Oh yeah?" she cried out after him, "I'm very happy! Very, VERY happy!"

He laughed at her, causing her anger to rise.

"I've got gorgeous nails, perfect hair, AND I'm going to be Prom Queen!" she snapped, putting her hands on her hips.

"Right, and what about Bo?" Jonathan questioned, stopping to continue arguing with her.

"Right," she said, smiling, "And I'm dating the star quarterback." She then sneered, continuing, "At least I'm not an unpopular dork!"

"Hey, I've got my books." he shrugged, as if not hurt by her comment, leaving.

"I'm ten times happier than you!" she shouted after him.

"I'm a hundred times happier!"

She glared after him, and then turned and ran into her house, not bothering to pick her books up.

**...::Later::...**

The girl was asleep when they came into her room.

One little spaceship, the size of a golf ball, landed by her feet. It opened with a kind-of "ssss" sound, like air escaping a pressurized compartment. Around thirty little worm-like creatures squirmed out, literally worming their way under her toenail and into her skin. She didn't stir at first, although her leg twitched when they made their way to her knee. Quickly, they began to make their way towards her abdomen, digging up and around her thighs. A hand lazily tried to scratch at them, but only wound up breaking her skin. As the worms continued their assault up through her skin, she began to stir, and finally one eye opened to stare in abhorrence at the skin-crawlers.

She screamed, and began to claw at her own skin, trying to dig them out, but it was no use; they easily dodged her blows, making their way faster and faster up towards her neck. She desperately scratched at them, causing blood to seep out from her marks, but it was to no avail. Flailing, she could do nothing but shake and scream as they made their up through and under her nose and into her brain. After only a few seconds, her eyes rolled back into her head and she lay still.

Another few minutes passed, and something began to literally saw its way out of her head, opening it up to reveal twenty or so pods, which made an odd bubbling sound ad rose up to fly out of her head.

"Where's the burger, Scare-crow?" Bo spat, staring out his car's window as the tagline for the movie preview came up on the tall screen.

_Next Week: "The Braineaters!"_

"Dammit, I'm hungry."

"Nice hair!" Sherry commented, staring up at the screen.

"I'm coming!" Jonathan said, coming up from beside their car just as the ads began to run.

"About time..." Bo snarled, but smirked as Jonathan attached the tray that held their food, "Hey, did you hear about the mallard that flew up the guy's butt?"

"No."

"He said, 'Get the duck outta here!'" Sherry and Bo burst into loud laughter, and Jonathan narrowed his eyes to slits, "So, scram, we got some heavy eatin' to do, heh..."

Jonathan didn't see anywhere else to go, so he sat down, hands on either side of his head and supported by his knees, on the back bumper of their car. Even before the movie started, there was the familiar "squeak squeak squeak" of cars bouncing due to the actions of their occupants. Jonathan tried to keep his mind on other things, until some noises with heavy implications came form the very car he was sitting upon.

"That's it, Sherry, squeeze it, tighter..."

Jonathan's face flushed, and he quickly covered his face in his hands.

"That's it baby, shake it!"

He tried to put his mind to better things, such as, well, the book he had been reading recently.

'_Potassium has the symbol K, and is number 19 in the Periodic Table..._'

"Slap it! Harder!"

He squeezed his eyes shut as far as they would go, pulling his hands over his ears. He kept trying to think of things other than what they were doing in there, and it worked...kind of. Some distant part of his mind, most likely the one guided by his lower head, was drifting off to the thoughts of Sherry taking her shirt off, smiling her perfect smile.

"Do it! It's coming!"

Finally, no longer able to take it, Jonathan let out a frustrated yell and shot up, intent on running around to yank the door of their car open and give them a piece of his mind.

"Damn it, Bo, you're a sick perv-"

"What the fu-"

Bo looked up, very nearly dropping the burger in his hands, and causing Sherry to pause in her yanking on the bottle of ketchup.

Everything, even the movie, seemed to come to a sick, slow halt around Jonathan.

"Oops."

**...::Weeks Later::...**

Bo yanked on the lever that would raise his car higher on the platform, grunting with the effort. When it was to the satisfactory height, he stopped, turning around to grab the tools that would assist him.

Darleen waltzed in, performing her model walk until she stopped feet from Bo, hips still moving to and fro.

"Hey Darleen," he said conversationally.

"Hiya Bo," she started, and without looking at his car, said, "Looks like a messy job. Ya ever work on anyone else's car?"

"No."

"Let's say a close friend had a car that needed a lot of attention..."

"Like a tuneup?"

"Or maybe just..." She put her hands on her hips and smoothed down her short skirt slowly, "Tightening a few bolts."

Bo was already back under his car, however, and was patching up some pipes. He backed off without even looking at Darleen, patting the side of the car with a smile.

"Nope, this is the only baby I touch."

"Well, think about it," she said disappointingly, walking out of the garage, "Maybe one day you'll get tired of the same ol' car."

Bo arced an eyebrow, watching her walk out. Completely clueless, he shrugged and went back to work.

**...::The Big Game::...**

When Bo walked into the boys locker room, fresh in his football gear, what he saw startled him, but didn't surprise him.

Dick had his eyes closed, his lips locked with the head of their mascot costume, the rest of which he was wearing. It did look really weird, but you had to expect that with Dick. He was weird kid.

Bo walked up and snatched the head out of Dick's arms, waking him up from his daydream with a shout.

"Cluck cluck!" Bo said, cackling, "I see you're all excited about the game, Dick."

"You s-scared me, Bo!" Dick stammered, but a smile quickly overcame his expression, "I was daydreaming. I want to ask Darleen to the Prom."

Bo smirked, turning and walking over to a distant locker to open it and retrieve something, nodding with sympathy.

"She makes my weenie tingle, but she always rejects me!" Dick put his feathered hand on his chin, looking depressed.

"I may have the answer," Bo said, walking back over to his friend with a small bottle, "Guaranteed to make you irresistible to _all_ women!"

He opened his hands, and there sat a green bottle labeled "Tijuaña Tonic."

Dick's eyes widened, his head shooting up, "I thought that stuff was a myth!"

"Let me tell you the true story of this stuff..." Bo said, sitting down the bench opposite of him.

"Long ago, in Mexico during the 16th century, there was no heir to the Aztec throne, so Montezuma asked his shaman to make a potion that would boost his sex drive. He mixed the ground up testicles of 10,000 cockroaches, plus the vaginal juices of 6 giant anacondas, and 4,000 jars of monkey semen. And the shaman presented it to the king along with 40 virgins. Legend has it that there were now no more virgins to sacrifice to the volcano gods, so they became easy prey for the conquistadors. "

Dick grinned, nodding for Bo to continue.

"And then there was this great lover, Valentino- rumor had it that he was gay, and it would ruin his film career. But after a mysterious trip to Mexico, his reputation with women was greatly improved. In fact, at his funeral, there were over 10,000 grieving women. And the famous Bugsy Siegel, through his mob connections, obtained a bottle; he had to create Las Vegas to supply him with enough showgirls."

Bo handed it to Dick, who took it eagerly in his hands and started to unscrew the bottle.

"Just two drops, Dick, the stuff's powerful!" Bo warned.

Dick ran outside after drinking two drops, the bottle still in hand, to meet Darleen on the bench where she was stretching in her cheerleading outfit.

"Hey Darleen, can I talk to you under the stands?" he asked hurriedly, sweat forming on his brow.

"This better be important." she snapped, following him under the crowd, "Did Bo put you up to this?"

"No!" Dick said defiantly, "Do...do you find me attractive? You know, in a...'sexual way'?" He swung his hips around, a big smile on his face.

Darleen yelped, turning and running away, "You're way too weird!"

"Wait, Darleen!"

Dick glanced at the bottle, then at Darleen, and promptly downed half or more of it, throwing it to the side and chasing after her.

He caught up, panting, taking her hands in his feathered ones (as he was still in costume), "I wanted to ask you to the...to the prom!" He thrust his hips forward at her, trying to pull whatever moves came up in his mind, but she screamed, running back onto the field.

"Well folks, it sure is a wonderful fall afternoon for the big game!" the announcer came across, grinning down as the crowd erupted in cheers, "Looks like a full house!"

The cheerleaders cheered and did cartwheels on the field. The two mascots, the cock and the beaver, ran around, pumping up the enthusiasm of the crowd. The cheerleaders on the home turf then ran over and help up a cloth drum, labeled "Go Fightin' Cocks!" from which the entire football team burst out of and onto the field.

After another few minutes of running around and cheering, both teams aligned on the field, the coin toss won by the home team. With a shout and a throw, the game was on.

"Here we go!"

**...::Hours of murder and mayhem later::...**

"It doesn't look good for our Fighting Cocks! It's brutal out there!" the announcer shouted, ducking his head under the desk as a helmet found its way off its owners head and up to the glass in front of him.

The scoreboard, much to everyone's (on the home team's side) dismay, read 8 to 3, with the Visitors in the lead.

With a whistle and a buzz from the scoreboard, everyone erupted in happy cheers.

"It's half time!"

The band immediately began to march around the field, trying to get everyone's enthusiasm and hopes back up, while the cheerleading squad began their own dance and performance. They formed a reversed triangle, with one very strong man on their team holding them up, and four girls, including Sherry and Darleen, on top. Everyone was smiling out at the crowd until the man stumbled slightly, causing the spectacle to shake. Darleen screamed, flailing in fright, and descended to the ground.

Dick, still in his costume, saw this happening, and ran over, arms outstretched while the crowd screamed.

"Don't worry Darleen, I'll catch you!" he cried.

Dick, as he quickly realized, had a wonderful, brief perspective of Darleen's panties. The tonic from before, had the fake label been removed, was actually horse aphrodisiac, and had decided to work its way into his system just then. Had an X-ray been done of Dick at that moment, one would have seen every organ, including his brain, drop into his dick. The boy gained an erection nearly half the size of him, which Darleen bumped into as she fell into his arms.

"We've got a terrific half-time show- whoa, what's this?" the announcer looked as confused as everyone else.

Darleen screamed at the top of her lungs, throwing herself out of his arms and running down the field, never stopping for breath. Dick chased after her, his one sexual instinct the driving force behind all of his decisions and movements now. Foam and drool poured out his mouth and out of his beak, his eyes wild behind the mask. The entire cheerleading team yelled and shrieked, dropping down to run from the horny kid in a chicken costume.

'_This wasn't in the program..._' the announcer thought, rubbing his head and shuffling the papers.

Seeing as to how he couldn't catch the cheerleaders, Dick turned and went after the band. Everyone tried to drop their instruments, running back into the locker rooms. The tuba player, however, was not so fortunate, and was the receiver of a very unpleasant experience.

A small child, surrounded by his parents, leaned forward, trying to see the "show." His parents quickly covered his eyes, and he protested.

"Mommy, I wanna see the funny chicken!" he cried.

Nothing was safe from Dick's sudden urge. The other mascot, several of the referees, even a hot dog stand on the sidelines. Everyone was shrieking and gasping, pointing and exclaiming, until Dick spotted something that would truly satisfy his need. On top of the scoreboard was another version of the school's mascot, so Dick, with a strength and ability that surprised everyone, clamored his way up the scoreboard to latch onto the cardboard chicken and hump it ferociously.

"In all my years of programming, this is certainly the strangest and most entertaining show I've witnessed!" the announcer cried, staring out in amazement.

There was an ancient, tired groan from the board, and one of the legs on the chicken began to creak and break, splinter after splinter. Dick seemed oblivious, until it broke completely, sending the other leg to its doom and causing it to crack, toppling the artifact down, Dick still trying to dagger it profusely. It soared towards the ground, and with several screams from the crowds, it stumbled in the air and reversed itself, smashing Dick into the ground, crushing him under it. His legs twitched, and then he moved no more.

"That was certainly an amazing half time show- let's give Dick a big hand!"

Everyone, however, took their hats off and put their hands over their heart, giving a second to mourn his loss before the football team stampeded out, running over the sign and Dick and onto the field. They realized what was going on, however, and turned, yanking the sign out of the ground and pulling Dick out of the new crater in the field. Sherry began to weep.

Jonathan, who'd been there only because Sherry insisted that she would need him, tried to comfort her, albeit halfheartedly.

"It's a...sad loss, huh, Sherry?" he said, trying to choose his words carefully.

"How are we going to do our dance routines without Dick?" she cried, but suddenly she looked up, her eyes wide with an idea.

"I know!" she said, picking the head of the mascot off and holding it up to Jonathan, "YOU be the chicken!"

Jonathan made a face, taking it from her carefully as she tore the rest of the costume off Dick, tossing it towards him.

"But I don't know if..." he started, but Bo held up a fist, shaking it warningly at Jonathan.

He swallowed heavily, stepping into the costume (he had to hunch slightly because he was so tall), mumbling to himself, "I must be nuts..."

The cheerleaders lined up along the sidelines while the game went back on, Sherry taking Darleen's place (the girl was currently at her psychiatrist) as she leapt off the pyramid they'd formed again.

"Catch me!" she shouted, grinning down at Jonathan.

He stood there, clueless until she landed on him, causing both of them to topple to the ground.

"Hut one, two, _hike!_" Bo shouted from the field, backing up as he said that, trying to pass the ball to a teammate. Not seeing anyone, he tried to dodge the big defender coming towards him.

"Bo fails to pass..." the announcer said, eyes wide as they crashed into each other, "He's hit!"

The defender hit Bo so hard, their helmets smashed open, causing Bo's hair to flail out in every direction and look like a mass of, well, messy hair.

"Oh, the _horror!_" the announcer screamed, covering his eyes as the home crowd followed suit.

Bo was called out, and Sherry got up, running over his unzip her own bag and retrieve hairspray and a comb, trying to comfort him as he put his head in his hands, ashamed at the horrific sight of his hairdo.

"Don't worry Bo, I'll fix it!" she said, biting her lip to try not to cry.

The coach turned to the last player on the bench, the other having been sent to the infirmary after what the visitors had done to them the first half.

"Get in there, number 9!" he shouted.

The boy stared up at him, and then shot up and ran out of the stadium, yelling, "I'm too young to die!"

"Coach, you're out of players!" One of the referees walked up, looking sympathetic, "Either you replace the quarterback, or you forfeit the game!"

The coach looked around desperately, and his eyes settled on Jonathan, who was still in costume, trying to look as small and insignificant as possible on the opposite side of the bench.

"You!" the coach hissed, pointing, "Get in there!"

"Me?" Jonathan asked, pointing to himself with a feathered finger, yelping as the coach hauled him up and shoved him out onto the field, "Wait! I can't-"

This, however, was in vain, as Jonathan quickly found himself out on the field behind a row of ready players.

"Either the coach has a trick play or he's gone nuts!" the announcer commented.

As Jonathan got behind the guy holding the ball, the guy twitched and turned, crying out, "It's the pervert chicken!"

"No, Dick's dead, I'm Jonathan!" he spat back, and then said nervously, "Ah, hut...hut..." having no clue what he was supposed to say.

The ball went back to him, but he froze up in fright, and the entire team of visitors tackled him, causing the crowd to boo as the players tumbled off, giggling and making comments about how lame the team had gotten.

As he dizzily got to his feet, Sherry waltzed up, hands on her hips, saying, "Get back out there! Richmond needs you!"

Jonathan readied himself again, mumbling, "Hut, one...two...hike?" The last word came out barely a squeak, and the ball was handed off to him.

He ran around the other team this time, making his way quickly down the field and towards the goal. The entire team broke out of their hold with the home one, and began to chase after him.

"Look at that chicken go!" the announcer shouted happily, pointing outwards.

Just as they began to catch up to him, Jonathan-

"Hang on," Merv snapped, crossing his arms, "That's just too absurd. Wouldn't the ref's ban him from even playing?"

"It could happen!" Darla said hopefully, trying to encourage Cal to continue.

"You're a gullible goose!" Merv growled.

"And you're a cynical moose!"

"I'm leaving!"

"Go!"

"Hang on, hang on!" Cal said, grabbing Merv's arm before he could get too far, "Let me finish the story. I promise you'll like it."

_Just as they began to catch up to him_, Jonathan looked behind himself, saw that they were closing in, and screamed, beginning to dart in every direction on the field, trying to shake them. One of the players, however, leapt forward, grabbing the last few feathers attached to Jonathan's tail, and the player behind him grabbed a hold of the first players' feet, and so on and so forth until Jonathan was held still by a long line of football players, feet from the goal line. He stretched himself out, causing his balance to be thrown off, and not letting go of the ball, landed with the edge of it peeking over the white line.

All three of the refs ran up to inspect the ball as the players dragged Jonathan away to let the refs decide if it was good.

"It sure looks like...a _**TOUCHDOWN!**_" the announcer shrieked, getting up from his seat and dancing.

The entire crowd got up and began to cheer, leaping on each other and hugging and crying. The home football team, including the band and cheerleaders, ran over and lifted Jonathan up parading their hero around. The scoreboard began to click its way up towards the 10, making everyone go into an even more enthusiastic cheer. The stadium began to shake with the pure happiness of the stands.

Meanwhile, the refs were still inspecting the ball, even as the ground began to shake and cause it to move around. They pulled out a ruler once the ground stopped, lining it up to the edge of the football. One of the refs stood up, waving his arms.

"No touchdown!" he shouted.

Everyone immediately turned up to glare at Jonathan, who squeaked in fear.

"Um, sorry?" he tried.

**...::Abandoned Cornfield::...**

"N-no! I said I was sorry guys!" Jonathan flailed in the crowd's arms, but the four pairs of hands on him kept their grip.

"Sorry ain't gunna bring the score back up!" Bo spat, dragging Jonathan towards a pole that had long been stripped of its scarecrow, "Perfect."

Jonathan yelped, struggling harder as the crowd picked him up into the air, cheering wildly. As they brought him over to the pole, however, Bo signaled for them to stop, a thoughtful look on his face.

"You know, I don't think our Scarecrow is dressed down enough," he said, growing a wicked smile, "Let's get him in proper order!"

They let Jonathan fall, still screaming even as they quickly jumped in, and, following Bo, stripped him down to his boxers. They thrust him up again, and with renewed vigor, carried him over to the pole, where Bo pulled some rope out of his bag.

Even if Jonathan held a height advantage, his skinny arms and legs did nothing to assist him in his attempt to escape. He managed to get a good kick to Bo's arm before they tied both feet together to the pole, whence they cut the rope and bound his hands on either side.

In retaliation for injuring him, Bo punched Jonathan, just once, hard in the gut. He let out an "ooof," feeling ribs bend and possibly crack. For a split second, his vision swam.

"Alright, let's leave the Scarecrow to the birds. He wouldn't scare a butterfly, heh." Bo turned, but as he did, sirens wailed along the dirt road next to them.

WEEEEEOOOOOOW WEEEEEOOOOOOW

A single police car drove up, and Jonathan let out a breath of relief. Finally, someone with reason.

A rather bubbly officer with the nametag "Off. Burkely" came waddling up, pulling up on his belt as he neared Bo.

"Hey, you know this ain't a good sign for your record, Bo Briggs." Burkely stated, pointing to Jonathan.

"Aww, c'mon. It's just a little after-game celebration." Bo put his left arm over Sherry's shoulders, who smiled sweetly up at the officer.

"Good game, by the way, even if ya did lose."

"Yeah, well, it's no thanks to this Scarecrow."

"Ya mean he was the pervert chicken that lost the game?" Burkely looked shocked.

"Yep, and we-"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Shut up, dorkola!" Bo snapped, and then turned calmly back to the officer, "Ya must understand what it's like, right Officer Burkely?" He purposely pulled out that Georgian twang.

"Well, alright. But don't let me catch you doin' it again," Burkely said, smiling, but then he turned to Jonathan, taking out his ticket book, "But you, kid, won't get away with indecent exposure."

"Wh-What?" Jonathan cried out, twitching as the officer put the ticket in-between the rope around his feet and the skin.

"Cut him down, boys, and I'll see ya later." Burkely waved, walking back out to his car and driving off in a cloud of dust. Everyone waved after him, and then walked off to their mode of transportation home.

"W-Wait! You aren't going to leave me here, are you?" Jonathan pleaded.

"Why not?" Bo shrugged, opening the car door for Sherry before going to his own side.

"Please, I ca-can't..." his eyes and face quivered in perhaps a flash of memory, "Please, Sherry, at least..."

Sherry looked up, surprised that he'd called her. For a split second, her eyes went dark with indecision, but then the rev of Bo's car made her look almost sadly at Jonathan before turning her head, getting in and leaving with Bo.

**...::First Holy Church, weeks later::...**

Bo held up the card, glancing through it once more before he and Sherry walked up the steps.

_WAKE FOR DICK CARSWELL_

_FIRST HOLY CHURCH, DECEMBER 5_

_Rev. Sydney Cheddar_

_10 AM - 3 PM_

_Drinks and food provided_

He paused, looking up at the church and smiling, taking Sherry's hand in his.

"Well, here we are babe. After Prom," He started walking her up, "We'll be here for real."

"Do you love me, Bo?" Sherry looked truly thoughtful and worried.

"Or course I do!" he exclaimed, kissing her on the cheek, "Don't we screw like pistons and cylinders?"

"Umm...yeah."

There were several moments of silence as they ascended the stairs together.

"Bo, let's lay off that Scarecrow kid."

"Aren't you having fun?"

"I'm afraid he might get hurt."

Bo thought for a moment, and then turned to her, stating defiantly, "You know what he told me? He said your hair is ugly!"

Sherry's hand unconsciously went to feel her hair and make sure it was still perfect. She pursed her lips and her eyes narrowed.

"Alright, maybe a little longer."

**...::At the Wake::...**

"Dear friends and family, welcome to this sad occasion," the Reverend pulled a couple of cards out of his inner shirt pocket, "I think now it would be proper to hear remembrances of his closest friends, ah, Mr. Plympton?"

Dick mother sobbed, blowing her nose into a handkerchief.

Mr. Plympton coughed offhandedly, and started slowly, "Well, yes, I...I can't say he was a great student, but he certainly was a, uh, different..."

As he rambled, Jonathan (once again only there because he was still Sherry's "slave") absentmindedly rubbed the spot on his wrist where the rope burn still clung. As he looked down at the coffin, he noticed that one, Dick was still in his chicken costume (the head was off to his side), and two, Dick's dead eye had popped open, giving Jonathan a one-eyed stare.

"And Mr. Cal, what are your memories?"

"Me? I, uh, uh...well, he came into my shop many times..." Cal tried to look friendly and tried to think of something nice to say, "and he was definitely, uh, energetic, yeah, energetic."

Jonathan looked around to make sure no one was looking directly at him, before he reached down, whistling innocently, and began to use Dick's eyelashes to tie his eyelids shut.

Bo noticed, however, and let out a quiet snort of laughter, turning to whisper to Sherry.

She gave him a hurt look, and shook her head violently. His eyes narrowed, and one massive arm reached down to latch onto Sherry's, squeezing it until she squeaked in pain.

She ripped her arm out of his grasp, and turned to whisper quietly to Jonathan.

"C'mon, let's get out of here." Jonathan stared curiously at her, and having not seen what had gone on between her and Bo, followed her quietly behind a curtain.

"Let's see, Miss Darleen? What have you got to say?"

"You know, I hate to be a wet blanket," she said, sighing and popping her gum, "but the guy was a total creep!"

"Honestly, I never liked Dick. He had the personality of fingernails on a chalkboard!"

"You know, truthfully, the kid was a total asshole!"

"Yeah, the guy was a big zero!"

"I'm glad he's gone!"

"I'm glad he's dead too, and I'm his mother!"

Behind the curtain, Sherry backed Jonathan up to just beside it, smiling wickedly. She reached up, as if touching a rare artifact, and ran her small hands and nails along the sides of his face. He twitched at her touch, but didn't back off. She had to stand on her tip-toes, but she leaned forward and up, face closing in on his. He balked, leaning ever so slightly backwards, when she suddenly pushed herself back, simultaneously pushing him in the other direction and through the curtain.

Jonathan stumbled on klutzy feet, hands flailing, and they knocked over the candles in the wake room, causing them to alight the coffin and the reverend's robes. Everyone started to panic, running around like chickens with their heads cut off. The reverend stumbled around before falling face-first into the coffin and Dick's crotch. This caused the costume's head to leap up and back onto its owners head. The force of the man landing in the coffin rocketed the coffin forward on its little cart, afire and with a very provocative image inside.

Jonathan ran over to the holy water station, grabbing a bucket as he ran, and scooped up a bunch. He ran back, tossing it onto the flying coffin as it rolled past him and out the front doors of the church. It shoved its way past several of the people who were going to their own services there, down the stairs, and out into the street.

Everyone filed out, watching the spectacle disappear over the horizon.

Bo grabbed a hold of Jonathan's shirt, bringing them eye-to-eye.

"I saw you flirting with Sherry, punk, and you're in BIG trouble!"

Jonathan swallowed hard, sweat still pouring off his brow.

**...::Months Later, Cal's Diner::...**

Jonathan put the bowl of vanilla ice cream down in front of Sherry, but as soon as he did, she frowned, but it was in an almost sweet way.

"Now Jon," She'd started to call him that after the incident at the wake before Christmas break, "Where's my sprinkles?"

He turned and went back, telling Cal "Sherry needs her sprinkles." Once done, he went back and put it down in front of her again, taking the seat opposite of her and next to Darleen.

"You know I don't like brown sprinkles." She put on her best pouting face, eyes blinking rapidly while Darleen chuckled.

Jonathan, sick of her "sugar-sweet" act, reached over and flicked a brown sprinkle into her hair.

She freaked; "There's a BROWN sprinkle in my HAIR!" She turned a furious eye to Jonathan, "I'm telling Bo!"

"Go ahead!" Jonathan spat, rolling his eyes behind his glasses, "There's no more he can do to me, except kill me."

Abruptly, Sherry calmed, reaching across the table and stroking Jonathan's face again. He froze, unsure of her antics, before she growled and slammed his face into the ice cream bowl, whipped cream splattering everywhere. Jonathan's arms flailed, and one grabbed a hold of her hair, causing the hairspray covering it to crack under pressure.

"You're breaking my hair!" she screamed, shoving his face in further, causing him to latch onto her hair with the other hand, breaking her hair more.

This continued with everyone in the restaurant watching with some form of amusement or horror or both. Finally, Jonathan wrestled free and, whipped cream and ice cream with the occasional sprinkle on his face, shook his head, making it go everywhere but his face. Sherry cried out, wincing as most of hit her, and she threw him to the ground. She underestimated his grip on her, however, and she went tumbling with him. For a minute or so, they wrestled, growling and snarling like angry wolverines all over the floor. Finally, however, Jonathan pinned her down, and they stared at each other, panting and sweating.

Then, something strange and unexplainable happened. Sparks, literally electricity, flew between them. There was a moment when the whole shop lit up with light, and then Sherry's nervous voice broke it.

"G-Get off me, twerp!" she screamed, shoving him off, "How DARE you touch me!"

"But..." Jonathan looked confused.

She grabbed her purse, hustling out of there as fast as her high heels would take her, Darleen following.

"What happened in there," she said hurriedly to Darleen, who grinned, "Don't tell Bo."

**...::The Next Day::...**

Once again, Bo was working on his precious car. Once again, Darleen came in, her hair a totally new style.

"Hi Bo!" she said, smiling nicely.

"Heya Darleen."

"How do you like my new hairdo? I did it just for you."

"It's nice." Bo didn't even look at her.

She tried again, "You know that talk we had about working on other people's cars?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, what if I told you someone else was working on _your_ car?"

Bo snapped his head to glare at her, "No fucking way! No one touches this baby but Bo!"

"I wouldn't be too sure!" Darleen looked worried, "I'm afraid that, right now, someone's working on your baby."

He grabbed her shoulders, staring straight into her eyes, "What?"

"Ever heard of the words 'double entendre?'" She gently pushed his hands off.

"That's a French manifold system, right?"

"Close," she said, walking out and waving, "See ya..."

**...::Springtime::...**

It didn't take Bo long to figure out what a "double-entendre" was, and when he did, Hell never had such fury. It didn't help that Darleen exaggerated the details later, and even when Sherry tried to explain what had happened, he didn't listen.

So, the rumors spread fast, and while Sherry and Bo were not officially done, they were "taking a break."

Jonathan thought he only felt happy because he wouldn't have the threat of Bo hanging over him anymore (although he'd tied Jonathan up once more and left him with a black eye in the middle of another cornfield), but some part of him felt that wasn't it. That wasn't the real reason he was so happy lately.

But he still helped carry Sherry's books home, even if he knew there wasn't any more reason to. He still felt some kind of obligation to do it, as if it were a habit. She'd looked so sad the past few days, he couldn't help but feel bad for her...in some small part of his heart.

As Jonathan and Sherry walked home this time, however, a dark cloud came suddenly up from the horizon. It moved faster than the average fluffy white cloud, and was buzzing.

Just as soon as it had appeared, the swarm of bugs overcame them, causing Jonathan to drop the books, trying to wave them off, Sherry yelping in fright and following his example. There were too many, however, and eventually they hugged each other tight and in panic until the cloud began to move off, and, with a start, they both realized they had been surrounded by harmless dragonflies. Almost instantly, both of them began to laugh lightheartedly, watching the cloud move off into the distance.

He picked up the books and they walked up to Sherry's porch, where, for the umpteenth time, he handed her books off to her. Once again, however, a spark flew between their fingers, causing Sherry to jump again and Jonathan to drop the books.

"Look at what you did to my nail!" she said disapprovingly, staring at the torched nail. As she put it in her mouth to cool it down, however, a thought wormed its way into her brain of hairspray, makeup, and cheerleading. A terrible, wonderful thought. She stared up at Jonathan, her face turning pink, before turning away to go inside her house. Jonathan's shoulders slumped, and he turned to walked home. Just before he was off the steps to her house, though, she turned back around, swallowing hard before making up her mind.

"Jonathan?"

He turned around, "Yes?"

"Would..." she bit her lip, eyes sorrowful and nervous. She'd never thought she'd say this, but..."...would you take me to the Prom?"

"Wh-what?" He jumped back slightly, eyes wide.

"O-only as my slave, stupid!" She straightened, trying to regain her dignity, "I...I just don't want to miss out, and- and..." Here she lowered her head, her face turning even brighter pink.

He smiled sympathetically. Despite how many times Sherry had shoved him down or insulted him, he still wanted to help her.

"Sure. I don't have a car or scooter anymore, but I know a good shortcut to school."

Almost awkwardly, he slowly turned around and started down the path to the street.

"A-and one more thing."

He turned eagerly, and she smiled, putting a finger to her lips. He ran back up, taking both of her hands gently into his, and she leaned up and forward, taking the first move and kissing him straight on the lips.

It was a chaste kiss, but enough to send both of their minds into a whirlwind of love. He backed off, watching her gaze after him, and the entire way home flowers sprouted where he stepped.

**...::One Week Later::...**

All of the decorations were set out, but most of them weren't up yet in the gym. Jonathan, along with a decent amount of other students, were helping put out the decorations for Prom. Mrs. Murray was directing the entire thing, but was also trying to have a rehearsal for the actual crowning event.

"We need the entire Prom Court on stage!" she shouted into a megaphone, "Where's King Bo?"

"He's at football practice." one of the kids stated.

"Sherry? You're still our Queen."

Sherry sighed, buffing her nails.

Mrs. Murray looked around, sighing heavily, before her eyes fell on Jonathan.

"You! Young man! We need a stand-in."

"But I-"

"No buts!" She smiled and motioned to him, and he humbly followed, "You'll have to do."

He gently led Sherry up the steps, following the rules of "ladies first," and went up to the microphone, where Mrs. Murray fumbled with it before finding a satisfactory height and place for it.

"Make your acceptance speech, blah blah blah," she said, and motioned widely to both of them, "Bow to the court, and kiss."

Jonathan and Sherry both shot up from their bow/curtsy.

"What?" they said in unison.

"It's says right here in the program," she opened it up and pointed the words out to them, "Kiss."

Jonathan, swiftly and nervously, leaned down and over, gently pecking Sherry on the cheek.

"You call that a KISS?" Mrs. Murray grabbed a hold of both of them and shoved them closer together, "The King and Queen mean _romance_!"

Jonathan and Sherry both glanced at each other before looking shyly and awkwardly away in either direction.

"C'mon, give us a big, wet, sloppy one!"

Sherry looked around before closing her eyes and pulling Jonathan into a deep kiss. He was so startled, his glasses nearly slid off his nose onto hers.

Suddenly, confetti erupted from the ceiling, covering everything in bright, little paper strips.

Mrs. Murray looked up angrily, "Lewis! Save the confetti for Prom night!"

"I didn't touch anything!" he cried.

Suddenly, Sherry opened her eyes and saw a daunting shadow in the doorway, covered in football gear. She violently pulled Jonathan further into the kiss.

He pulled back for air, and Bo, covered in his gear, grabbed the back of Jonathan's worn-down shirt, pulling him up and over himself and onto the floor below the steps, landing with an "oof!"

"Sherry, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he spat.

"Maybe what my ex-best-friend told you is true, Bo!" she snapped back, "I don't love you anymore!"

Bo grew furious, but ran down the steps and stood over Jonathan, who was just getting back up on shaky legs.

"You been changin' her oil, freak?" Bo growled, "Tightenin' her bolts?"

Jonathan looked clueless for a minute, but then stood up straight, towering over Bo as his full 6'3".

"She's not your property, Bo. Sherry can choose who she wants to be friends or go out to Prom with," he said slowly, making sure to get up close to reiterate to Bo just how tall he was. It worked- Bo's eyes filled up with surprise once Jonathan overtook him.

His other friend, David, was not impressed, even though he was shorter than Bo.

"Lemmie strip his gears!" he exclaimed, tugging on Jonathan's shirt to turn him around to face him, the toothpick that constantly sat in his mouth nearly poking Jonathan in the shoulder.

Jonathan's eyes narrowed, and he unconsciously adjusted his glasses, reaching up to jerk the toothpick out with his other hand.

"If you were really tough," he said with the low undertone of anger and sarcasm, "Instead of your mouth, you'd stick that toothpick in your eye!"

With one quick, surprising movement, he shoved the toothpick forward and straight into the pupil of David's left eye. David screamed, blood spurting out in little geysers, and he clutched his eye, running out the building screaming for mommy.

Bo took this moment to get angry, and taking off his helmet, he nabbed Jonathan's shirt collar and smashed the helmet on his fist into his baby-makers. Jonathan yelped in pain, falling to the ground and clutching the bruised area.

"You just think about who you're gunna associate yourself with, Sherry!" Bo snapped, putting his helmet back on and walking out.

**...::Night of Prom::...**

"Again, I-I'm sorry I couldn't drive you there, Sherry." Jonathan tugged nervously at the collar of his second-hand suit. He looked like a slightly more modern version of Ichabod Crane, save for the fact he had cut his hair shorter, almost messy and certainly slightly uneven, as if he'd...well, he probably had done it himself.

She looked spectacular in her white dress. Her hair was shiny and naturally smooth, her face aglow, and even her white shoes seemed to repel all the dirt and dust.

She smiled politely up at him, causing his face to flush as he looked away hurriedly.

"That's alright. We can spend more time together talking."

"O-of course."

Despite this, there was a minute of silence before Sherry started in.

"Sooo, why'd you move here?" She clutched her small purse tighter.

"Um, the last foster home kicked me out."

"Foster?" she furrowed her brow, trying to think of what that meant, "Are your parents dead?"

"No, I just..." he looked almost indecisive of what to think, "I don't know where they are. Last I heard, my mom moved to Gotham and, well, I don't know who my father is," he gave a nervous laugh, turning to her, "Well, enough about me, I've never heard about your side of the family."

She looked away, focusing her eyes on the road, "My dad's never home. He's always away at his big-time job. My mom's usually out at parties or out with her girlfriends. I don't get to see them much," she glanced up at him, "Not that I care. When we do talk, it's always about them and their life, and when they do eventually ask about me, they blow it all off and go off into stuff about how _he's_ getting tired of the coffee machine being broken, or how _she_ wants to change her lunch date, e-t-c, e-t-c."

She suddenly chuckled, and Jonathan gave her a curious stare.

"What?"

"Aww, it's nothin'."

"No, really, what?"

"Well," she chuckled again before continuing, "Bo never asked me about my parents. He met them, once, and they talked to him a lot, but he never really cared unless they were home when we were there."

"Shows where his priorities are." Jonathan commented, looking ahead again.

It took a minute, but Sherry finally got his comment, and she started to laugh.

He gave her a funny look, like she'd suddenly sprouted a tail.

"Wha-at?"

She giggled, wrapping one arm through his, placing her other hand above his elbow and leaning her head into his shoulder, bringing them very close as she blinked slowly, feeling slightly tired.

"Just you."

"What about me?"

"Just...you."

Jonathan coughed politely into his other hand, trying to not notice how close they were now.

"I, um, I..." he started, but Sherry stopped, turning her head as a pair of headlights came fast down the road. Bo's car screeched its way to a halt feet from them, Bo sticking his head casually out the window.

"Hey Sherry," he said, "Lookin' mighty fine, girl." His eyes wandered over her, and a smirk crossed his face when he saw Jonathan, "Who's your girlfriend?"

"Back off, Bo!" she spat, releasing herself from Jonathan's arm.

"Oh please, baby, the game can end now." Bo got out of his car, slamming the door behind him and walking up to her, putting his arm over her shoulders.

"What are you talking about?" Jonathan looked apprehensive, and was backing up from them.

"You honestly think that my girl of three years would leave me in a week and pick up a loser like you?" Bo stared hard at Jonathan, watching his face fall, "It was a joke, dorkola, just to watch you crash and burn on Prom night, neh-heh!" he stuck his tongue under his teeth, making a face at Jonathan's depressed one, "I told Sherry to pretend to fall for you, just to get your hopes up, and now, well, the joke's over."

He turned to Sherry, who looked uncomfortable in his arms.

"C'mon, babe, let's tie this scarecrow up and make our way to our dream night." He tried to guide her to his car, but she struggled against his grasp, finally breaking free and backing up.

"No!" she shouted, startling both Bo and Jonathan, "I'm not going to because _I don't want to_."

"What are you talking about?" Bo looked confused, but realization was dawning on him.

"Jonathan's been nicer to me than anyone at the school, in an honest, genuine way, Bo," she said, straightening, "Even more than you."

Bo narrowed his eyes, "That's not funny, Sherry. Now, stop it! The joke's over! Let's get on over to-"

"Well, ha-ha, because the joke's on _you_ Bo!" Sherry grabbed Jonathan's arm, pulling him close, "I really do love him."

Before either boy could register exactly what just happened, Sherry huffed and began to walk (more really dragged) arm-in-arm with Jonathan down the road to Prom.

"What the fuck is this _bullshit?_" Bo started out slowly, but his voice increased tremendously until it shook the air around it.

"What...what are you doing, Sherry?" Jonathan cried out once they seemed to be a safe distance from Bo, who was still standing next to his car in shock.

"It's true, you know," she said, slowing down as they neared another empty field, "You've been really nice to me despite how many times I or Bo tried to pull you down. Yeah, Bo wanted me to pretend to fall in love with you, but I...I really did fall for you."

Jonathan inhaled sharply, surprised by her words, when the glow of headlights and the rev of motor caught both of their attentions, causing them to glance back.

"It's Bo!" Sherry cried out, and took a tighter grip on Jonathan's arm, "Run!"

They first tried simply running down the road, but Bo's car swerved to chase them, gaining speed and distance, closing in on them quickly. Sherry and Jonathan turned their heads, and Sherry screamed as the headlights filled their vision. Jonathan was thinking ahead, however, and pulled Sherry off to the side of the road and into the field just as Bo's car passed them. They both panted heavily from their run, before getting up and continuing to try and make their way through the field as quietly and quickly as possible. The sound of Bo's car had suddenly disappeared, so they had hope.

Jonathan stopped abruptly, turning around and glaring at Sherry.

"How do I know this isn't a part of your little game with Bo, huh?" he demanded.

For a moment, she was speechless, but then she said, calmly, "Because I _want_ to do this," and with that, she grasped either side of his face and pulled him down into a long kiss.

A large, bright pair of lights along with the whirring sound of a machine caught their attention, and they broke apart only to stare into the daunting face of a harvester. Bo sat in it, his face full of rage as he pulled a lever and the machine hurled forward towards the couple.

Sherry and Jonathan screamed, running away as fast as they could. They had the advantage of distance, but they were running into the field, not out of it. Bo had to slowly turn the harvester to keep up with their direction, but he was gaining.

Sherry let out another scream as she suddenly fell, her ankle making a terrible cracking noise as her heels brought her down. Jonathan stopped and turned, running back to her and dropping to the ground.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I...I don't know! My ankle hurts really bad, though!" she tried to put it down to support her, but even moving it just the slightest bit made her nauseous. She bit her lip, closing her eyes before turning back to Jonathan, telling him, "Just go on! Save yourself!"

"Absolutely not." he growled, putting one of her arms over his shoulder and the other around her waist. He tried to lift her, but her weight combined with the dress was too much, not to mention the fact he was already rather skinny and non-muscular. He wheezed, his legs giving in as they both dropped to the ground again, Bo and the harvester closing in fast.

"Ju-just go, Jon!" she began to cry, realizing her fate.

He stared at her, picking her chin up to raise her eyes to his, stating, "I don't want to." He leaned in, kissing her once more before the harvester overtook them.

The sound was terrible, even to Bo. Their screams practically shattered the glass protecting him, and blood splattered its way all over the harvester itself. When he was sure he was a good distance away from what might remain, he turned it off and went back to inspect the damage done. Finding no trace of either of their bodies, he smirked and went back to his car.

"Well, that's it!" Merv said, getting up again.

"Wh-waht?" Darla exclaimed, and then grabbed his arm, shaking her head, "No! Cal isn't finished!"

"He has to be! the heroes are dead, story's over; c'mon, we're missing our own Prom."

"The story's not over, is it Cal?" Darla looked hopefully up at him.

"No," he looked between both of them, and then continued when Merv sat down, "So, anyway, back to the Prom..."

_"I'm proud to present your King and Queen, and their court!"_

Mrs. Murray clapped, encouraging everyone else to do so too before she called them up.

"King Bo, and, um," she looked confused before continuing, "Queen Sherry!"

A dead silence filled the court. Darleen gawked.

Bo ran up to the mic, looking as sad as possible, "I'm afraid...I'm afraid that Jonathan kidnapped Sherry and ran away to Gotham!"

He turned away to pretend to cry into his sleeve while Mrs. Murray walked back up and straightened herself out.

"Well, according to the rules, the next Queen is the first Princess, so, introducing," she pointed and the spotlight followed, "Queen Darleen!"

When Darleen walked up, all smiles and sparkles, both she and Bo (who had recovered very quickly), were crowned with the plastic pieces, and were given their dance.

Somebody, not long after Jonathan and Sherry disappeared, had erected two scarecrows "in their honor" in one of the cornfields; both wore a simple shirt, torn pants or skirt, and hat. Some kind of knowing passed amongst everyone and everything about them. Nobody dared to look at them as they passed along that dirt road, thinking, somewhere in the back of their brain, that those two scarecrows stood for much more than just scaring the crows...

**...::One Year Later::...**

A cold, unexpected wind blew through the abandoned cornfield, shaking the crows and other animals, causing them to cry out as it chilled their bones. The full moon came out from behind the clouds, and the wind picked up, insistent on blowing everything to hell. Or, quite possibly, from it.

One brave crow, once the wind abruptly died, listened to something deep inside it and flew down, taking an easy landing on the post of taller scarecrow. It cawed at the cloth, pecking on the wood. It cocked its head, those beady black eyes almost curious. It pecked at the wood a few more times before there was an unearthly groan, and it cawed in surprise, flying off.

The scarecrows took a deep breath.

Both of them began to change, but not on the outside. A sickening, sloshing noise came from inside them, like moldy guts trying to connect once more. Bones cracked and filed out the torn sleeves and pants or skirt, brown and covered in bits of skin and/or moss. The mice inside the previously straw-filled bodies squeaked, running out as fast as possible before green electricity sparked its way through and across their bodies. There were a few final snapping sounds, and everything was still.

The ropes that had previously tied only sleeves to the poles rotted away, dropping both of them to the ground, and while they should have probably fallen in the pile of bones and other things, they fell almost neatly, even slowly putting out their hands to catch themselves from falling. Both scarecrows made their way back to their feet, where two pairs of yellow, glowing eyes, bigger and rounder than a jack-o-lantern's, filled the darkness surrounding where their heads hopefully were. The taller one delicately turned to the shorter one with the skirt, and held out a bony, moss-covered hand.

**...::Elsewhere::...**

Senior Prom. There's nothing like it.

Every senior was going to attend. Not only was it their last Prom, but Bo and Darleen's as well, and_ they _wanted everyone to be there.

Nobody really noticed Jonathan's absence save for his foster parents, but they simply believed Bo and thought he'd run away to Gotham. Everyone pretended to miss Sherry, though, even if Bo told them he was over her. Everyone was still on eggshells about it.

A meager search party was launched, but it didn't really go anywhere.

So it was, on Prom night, on the very night one year ago that Jonathan and Sherry disappeared, that Cal's diner was once again empty. He didn't mind, though; he liked the quiet for once. The one waitress that was working with him that night was busy cleaning a table, but she wasn't working hard at it. They weren't expecting any customers.

So when Cal, his back to the door, heard it open and slow, determined footprints make their way in, he was surprised, but didn't turn.

He didn't even look when he heard the waitress scream bloody murder and the "THUMP" of her fainting upon the floor.

"Y-yes, can I help you?" he asked, his body frozen in fright, not sure whether to turn and look or stay where he was.

"Yes, we'd like Cal's Special." came the echoed response.

"That sounds like..." Cal murmured, his brow furrowed, "But no, they're in Gotham...But..."

He turned, and let out a small scream at the two figures right beyond the counter.

"Relax, Cal, it's us." Jonathan's voice from inside the taller scarecrow said, the yellow eyes unblinking, "We just need a bite to eat. We're famished form all that walking."

Cal looked between them, and pointed an angry finger at the smaller scarecrow, saying accusingly, "You're not Sherry!"

"Watch!" she said, and removed her hat. Her face was nearly skeletal, save for a few flecks of skin across her cheekbones and her forehead, which still held every piece of her beautiful hair. When she took off the hat, however, her eyes were empty, as if there had never been a pair of yellow, glowing orbs in that area. As Cal watched, a spider made its way out of her right eye socket and down into her ribcage.

"Sweetie, you never looked more beautiful." Jonathan commented, putting his arm around her shoulders.

Cal gave a violent shiver, trying to shake the image of the spider crawling around out of his head, instead trying to turn his attention to his "customers." He whipped around, putting his shaky hands to work to fix them what they ordered. They both turned and walked away from the counter, arm in arm.

"I see you saved our favorite booth," Jonathan said, letting Sherry sit first before seating himself and taking off his own hat, revealing a skeleton head complete with hair also, "We're going to the Prom."

Cal wearily took the plate with ice cream over to their table while Jonathan and Sherry watched him approach.

"So, are you guys dead or alive or what?" Cal asked, curiosity or something else getting to him as he put the plate down and watched them dig in as best they could. Every time they pulled the spoon up and swallowed, the pile of ice cream fell into their shirts and into their empty ribcages. Where it went from there only God knew.

"We're in love." Jonathan said, which was the equivalent of just saying 'Yes.'

"How's Bo?" Sherry asked conversationally.

"You mean King Bo and Queen Darleen?" Cal saw the waitress start to get up, whence she saw the dead duo and fainted once more.

"That bitch! Some friend she was."

They finished surprisingly quickly, and as they got up, putting their hats back on and shading their faces, Cal decided to try and be...friendlier.

"Y-you want some more?" he asked, his voice still shakily despite his best attempts to calm it, "It's on the house!"

"Nope, we got a date to finish." Jonathan took Sherry's bony hand in his, and they walked out, waving to him before they went through the door.

"D-d-don't be s-strangers!" Cal called after them.

**...::Prom::...**

"Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the court of Richmond High School!" Mrs. Murray announced proudly, "Now presenting, last year and now this year's King Bo and Queen Darleen!"

Bo and Darleen waved to the crowd from up on stage, and Bo walked up to the mic, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"I had a great year as your king and I'm excited-" he started, but a murmur from the crowd shook his speech.

"Hey what-"

"Who-"

"Hey! Keep it down back there! I'm having a sentimental moment," Bo spat, shaking his pointing finger at the spot near the back doors from which the murmuring started, but it didn't cease. He narrowed his eyes, putting a hand over them to block the overhead lights and try to see further.

"What's going on back there?"

The crowd suddenly parted, several screams from both boys and girls going up as they revealed two scarecrows with bony hands and legs and feet walking up, their eyes aglow in an eerie yellow light.

Darleen screamed, backing up behind Bo as he furrowed his brow and pointed directly at the advancing specters.

"Get those freaks!" he cried.

The entire football team lined up, all in gear, right below the stage. Jonathan and Sherry stopped, and Jonathan turned to Sherry as she took a defensive stance.

"Sherry?" he asked quietly.

"Leave those dumb jocks to me!"

Suddenly, both parties charged forward, but as they did, Sherry ripped off her hat and took out a can of hairspray, spraying all over her head. When the two groups collided, there was a satisfying "CRA-ACK" as the rock-hard hair, thanks to hairspray, sent the helmeted team flying in all directions. Sherry stood up, gracefully putting her hat back on and adjusting it as Jonathan walked up to her. She turned to him, and they immediately grabbed each other and spun in a victory circle.

VRA-VROOOM

David's motorcycle revved, spewing flames as it reared and then soared forward, nearly taking his eyepatch off. Jonathan and Sherry parted, but still held hands as David and his motor advanced upon them. At the last few feet, he leapt off, letting his motorcycle run away, trying to tackle Jonathan. As he neared, however, a snake with insanely large fangs flew out of Jonathan's right (still glowing) eye, where it tripled in size and entrapped David, taking him to the floor where it began to strangle him. Jonathan and Sherry glanced at each other, sharing a knowing look, and then both looked and stared down at the snake and David in some kind of bemused and demented interest.

"S-someone please stop this madness! It's ruining our Prom!" Bo screamed.

Jonathan and Sherry turned, and they both gasped at who stood up next.

"What now?" Jonathan asked, sounding worried, "It's Mr. Plympton and the Chicken!"

Sure enough, Mr. Plympton and whoever was currently in the chicken suit stood in front of the stage, growling intensely. As the chicken-man ran forward, however, Mr. Plympton began to cough violently, and his organs once again sailed out and up, but gravity eventually brought them down...upon the chicken-man, who collapsed under a pile of bloody guts.

Jonathan and Sherry shrugged, walking past them and up on the stage.

"Somebody please," Bo started, looking genuinely scared, "STOP THOSE GHOULS!"

Bo and Darleen backed off as Jonathan and Sherry stole the microphone.

"We're Jonathan and Sherry, and we've come to claim our crown!" Jonathan announced to the school, before the sound of a cocking gun turned everyone's heads.

"That's impossible! I just got a postcard from them from Gotham!" Officer Burkely hissed, getting Jonathan's upper torso in his sights.

BLAM BLAM BLAM

He shot several times, but the bullets went through him and one even went straight through Sherry, and even though they knew the outcome, Jonathan still turned his head to make sure Sherry was alright. When he was sure, he turned around and reached forward, tugging at the belt around the officer's thick waist. With one strong movement, he ripped the man's pants off and grabbed the ticket book before tossing them aside.

"Sorry officer, I'm gunna have to write YOU a ticket for indecent exposure and," Here Jonathan shoved the newly-torn ticket into the officer's hands, also pushing him off-stage, "For being a lard-ass!"

He turned to Darleen, who shrieked and flailed her arms at him in some kind of pathetic gesture. He easily reached up and took the crown off of her hairdo.

"And now, Darleen, if you don't mind..." he said sarcastically.

"But, but! I'm the Prom Queen!" she cried out, and then ran off the stage, crying.

He gently turned and, after she'd removed her hat and tossed it aside once more, placed the crown on Sherry's head.

He gently ran a skeletal hand down her cheekbone, saying loudly to the crowd, "Presenting my Queen, Sherry!"

Finally, Bo reached up and pointed at both of them accusingly, shouting, "That can't be Sherry and Jon! I ran them over with a harvester!"

Everyone in the audience gasped, and their eyes went wide.

"And I'll take your crown, Bo!" Jonathan shouted, reaching for the said object.

"Get away, you freak!" Bo leapt back, grabbing the mic stand off to the side and picking it up, using the large, circular end to smash into Jonathan's face. Or, at least, where it used to be.

Sherry gasped, bringing her hands up to her mouth in worry as his hat fell to the ground, along with what had cracked from his skull.

For a moment, there was silence, and Bo smirked, confident he had won.

Unfortunately, there was an odd sound, like a bunch of fluttering wings from the black hole that was now Jonathan's head. Abruptly, hundreds, no, _thousands_ of crows erupted form the hole in Jonathan's skull, filling the gymnasium with the sound of their wings beating and their shadowy figures. Most of them went straight for Bo, pecking at his skin, his eyes, his hair; eating him alive. He screamed, once, and then he went quiet.

Jonathan's face seemed to repair itself, and the hole was sealed. Once done, the crows literally melted away into the shadows, leaving a distressed crowd and a plastic, golden crown where Bo once stood. Sherry bent down and gently picked it up, carefully wiping away a single black feather that had been clinging to it before placing it upon Jonathan's head.

They then took each other's hand and walked down onto the floor, where a single spotlight followed them now. The crowd was still clear, allowing them plenty of room. They walked quietly out to the middle, where Jonathan took Sherry's other bony hand, and replaced the previously occupied one on her waist. She followed, and they looked into each other's empty eyes before leaning in and, in a skeletal way, kissed.

A funny thing happened then. Another short spark flew between them, and in a rather spectacular display of true love, skin grew back, filing over their bones, reaching up over their heads and down to their feet. Along with the skin, they grew the clothes they had meant to go to Prom in; Sherry in her dress and Jonathan in his suit. When the transformation was done, they broke apart, and seeing what had happened, both gave out a joyous laugh and they proceeded to dance, the entire crowd cheering them on.

Darla started to cry. She certainly thought it was a touching story.

Merv, on the other hand, still looked bored and confused.

"Ok, so, what's the point?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders.

"The point? THE POINT?" Cal shouted, throwing his hands up, "You can't see the point?"

He turned, finishing a large project he'd started working on in the middle of the story. When he went back to facing them, he brought a giant, quadruple-layered, four-flavored, fudge-and-banana-covered masterpiece that was supposed to be a sundae.

"Love, like life, is a creative act," he said, placing it in front of the couple, "In their short life, Jonathan and Sherry created a masterpiece like this!" he pointed to the giant ice cream sundae before whipping around to put a dollop of vanilla ice cream on another plate, putting it in front of the couple again, "And THIS is your romance."

Merv and Darla glanced between the two plates, finally resting their eyes on the one that represented them. They looked up at each other, staring into the other's eyes. Slowly, a small spark flew between them, and they immediately flew together to lock lips passionately.

Merv and Darla, however, both began to chuckle and giggle mid lip-lock, and they broke apart, laughing like crazy.

"You must think we're pretty gullible," Merv said, picking up a spoon to gaze at and pick at his teeth, "Sherry and Jonathan coming back as skeletons? Yeah-"

A strange thing happened when he looked into the spoon and angled it so it was looking into a booth behind them. He whipped his head around, but there was nothing there but a plate with two spoons and some soggy ice cream. Darla noticed too, and she let out a small gasp.

They both got up and ran outside, while Cal just smiled and took Darla's glass, beginning to clean it with a rag.

When both teens got outside, there was nothing but dust for a second, and then the dust cleared and flowers sprouted in two rows of evenly-placed tire tracks, like those made from a vehicle. As Darla reached down to gently pluck one of the flowers and bring it up for her and Merv to view, a single, green dragonfly landed upon it, and Merv and Darla smiled before turning to each other and kissing under the moonlight.

**END**

_Okay_, so apparently I didn't make this clear: Most of this story, including the characters and their personalities, dialogue, and scenes, WAS NOT MY IDEA. _I_ simply came up with the idea of the crossover, because Jon's story and "Hair High" sounded similar. Everything, except the harvester scene, the re-animation as scarecrows, and tying Jon up to a pole, was taken from either the Batman comics or "Hair High." None of it was really mine.

Moving on...

Seriously, if you haven't read the original "Hair High," PUT WHATEVER YOU'RE READING NOW DOWN AND GET IT. It's a great, great book, with interesting illustrations and a weird storyline that will make you crack up and go "Why the hell am I reading this?" all at the same time. Unfortunately, the movie isn't available in the US, unless you have an all-region DVD player. It was only released in France. OH WAI. -sobs-

Oh, and during the "movies" scene, in the book, there's a guy with a horse in his car. WTFITS.

Sorry for the morbid beginning, with the flies and all. D8 I wanted to keep it close to the book, where at the beginning, you're all "OMG EW FLIES oh that's so sweet! oh they're dead and the bartender's crazy." OH AND YOU SHOULD TOTALLY NAME YOUR BOY MERV NOW. 'Cause that's such an awesome name.

And when I read the part about the mascots being the beaver and cock, I was all "SEXUAL INNUENDO, LOL" Oh, and I don't care if Jon's HS mascot wasn't a rooster/cock.

Aphrodisiac is a thing that ups sexual desire, and the bottle Bo gave Dick was meant for horses, so using it on a human is...trouble.

And OBVIOUSLY very AU Jonny. WHAT THE HELL, with his "saving the teacher by stuffing his guts back in order," yus. And I stole the "he's living with a different family" in this from in mushi's "Fourteen," where he's been moving to foster homes after Granny died.

I seriously didn't want to write the scene where they tie him up to the pole. That was painful for me. NOBODY HURTS MY SEXY-BABY! *shakes fist* Gawd, I'm just as bad as the Captain when it comes to torturing Squishy. And I have no honest idea if you can die from a harvester attack. But, lol, whatevs.

Thanks for reading, mah peeps!

Scarecrow, Sherry Squires, Bo Briggs (or something like that) are all owned by DC Comics

Hair Hair and its related themes and characters are all owned by Bill Plympton (and yes, the Biology teacher was a Shout-Out to him, although I doubt he smokes that much)

~The Talking Absol, over and out kiddies~


End file.
